You are not alone. We know your pain. It can be eased.
YOU ARE HEARD
Real Talk: SEPAD
SEPAD is not about being generally clingy, nor is it about needing just any 'safe people' around you. It is focused entirely on one specific person: your attachment figure. When that one person is away, your nervous system triggers a primal response that actually feels like dying. It is not just sadness or anxiety; it is a visceral, targeted terror that you cannot control. Most people, including many therapists, do not understand that your body is reacting to a separation as a literal threat to your survival.
Am I Affected?
If you are here, you likely carry a pain that feels like dying whenever one specific person is away. This is not general clinginess; it is a targeted response to your attachment figure that you cannot simply control.
Getting real support
Finding the right path forward can feel overwhelming, but clarity is within reach. Here are practical ways to connect with professionals and resources that understand exactly what you are going through.
Talk to your doctor
Your GP might be the first person you can talk to. You mental health is part of your body, and they will be able to give you medications and be able to discuss this with you. Go to an urgent care if you do not have a GP.
Find a therapist
Start right away. You fastest path to a therapist will likely be telehealth. Later it is going to be very important for you to find a therapist you trust and have a solid relationship with, but to start take the first one you can get. If you can get a psychiatrist to take over the prescription management all the better.
Important note
Almost no therapist will have experience treating adult separation anxiety disorder. Bring your ASA-27 score and all relevant SEPAD documentation to your first appointment.
Order this book: Separation Anxiety Disorder in Adults
Urgent assistance
If you are in a dark place and need someone right now:
1) 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988).
2) Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741).
3) Go to the Emergency Room and say "I am having a mental health crisis."
For Clinicians
If you are a mental health professional, you may not have encountered SEPAD before. You are not alone in that — most clinicians haven't. We are building a resource library to help you recognize, diagnose, and treat adult separation anxiety disorder. In the meantime, the two most important resources are the ASA-27 screening questionnaire and the Silove textbook on separation anxiety disorder in adults. If your patient brought you to this site, they are asking for your help. Please listen.
Our Story
My name is Victor Miller. I'm 43 years old. I live in Cheyenne, Wyoming. I work at a library. I have a basset hound named Beatrice. I am a normal person with a normal life. And I have SEPAD.
When my attachment figure separated from me, my nervous system treated it as if I was dying. Electric shocks through my body. Panic attacks. An ER visit. A 988 crisis call. Two professionals confirmed the diagnosis. My ASA-27 score was 60 out of 81. The clinical cutoff is 22.
I spent weeks trying to explain this to the people I love. Most of them still don't fully understand. My therapist had never heard of it. I had to teach everyone. ASADA exists because nobody should have to be their own doctor, their own educator, and their own advocate while their body is telling them they're dying. You are not alone. We know your pain. It can be eased.
Our Mission
ASADA exists to ensure that no person with Separation Anxiety Disorder in Adults has to fight this alone. Our mission is to educate sufferers, their families, and their clinicians about SEPAD — a disorder where the loss of a specific attachment figure triggers a nervous system response that feels like dying. We provide plain-language resources for diagnosis, connect people with proper treatment, and advocate for greater clinical recognition of a condition that affects up to 7% of Americans but remains almost completely unknown.
From the Blog
Coming soon
Victor's Recovery Process
A personal look at the small steps and radical honesty required to rebuild a life after a SEPAD crisis.
Coming soon
SEPAD Research Updates
Exploring the latest clinical findings on adult attachment and why standard anxiety treatments often fail SEPAD patients.
Get in Touch
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